One A Penny, Two A Penny Buy My Crap

This weekend I'm tackling the horrific task of having a garage sale. As a matter of fact, if you're reading this on Friday or Saturday, that's where I am right now!

All I have to say is this:
I'm embarrassed at the amount of crap I have accumulated.
I'm disappointed I didn't have the time to finish all those fabulous "projects" I envisioned.
I'm hopeful that all the "someones" for all the "stuff" will come and take it all away.
I'm not allowing any of this stuff back into the house. IT MUST GO!!!

So anyway, it's getting late and I have to go clean out a refrigerator, take a shower, go fix a couple of signs, and go to bed.

Wish me luck. And send everyone one you know my way. I'm bound to have something they just can't live without!

Funky Town

The last couple of days I've been in a funk. A BIG funk! So, today I think I'm going to flip the script and try to think in a positive manner. So, here goes.....

I give thanks for the following (in no particular order):

my children, my husband, my parents, Marcie, friends, health, my mind, my dog, purring cats, home, food, good fortune, good sleep, cilantro, chocolate, rain storms, hummingbirds, flowers, oceans, the color orange, temper tantrums, cart-wheels, punk rock, clean houses, ballet, cameras, good style, cascarones, scrabble, grilling out, crafts, naps, ibuprofen, toads, good sex, free time, Hank Williams, baby feet, firsts, tigers, the smell of coffee, brownies, sunbathing, going to the salon, growling babies, sassy children, rebels, humble people, green lights all the way, compilation cd's, winning shit on the radio, compliments, snow storms, Leonard Cohen, sitting in front of the fire, road trips, shopping, little suits for little boys, straightening irons, earrings, massages, chiropractors, flamenco, recycling, hiking, goldfish, seeing your history in your child's face, dejavu, blog buddies, giving birth, painting a room, good work, jasmine, streams, Led Zeppelin, good arguments, puppies, gardens, concerts, getting drunk, laughing 'til you cry, decade old friendships, The Clash, nicknames, sharp tongues, literacy, 2008 is coming up, bold old women, Willie Nelson, costumes, misunderstood song lyrics, laughing infants, good men, breezes, tomorrow, reminiscing, laughing at yourself, when everything for dinner is ready at the same time, birthday parties, presents for no reason, Roxy in a tutu, the name Roxy, scalloped potatoes, gourmet dog bakeries, seeds germinating in the kitchen window, glitter, Christmas cookies, surprises, bathroom humor, rock gardens, stained glass, pottery, your name in lights, trampolines, pissed off cats, good grades, autumn, quiet, sonograms, potato soup, peacocks, dinner parties, impromptu gatherings, musical theatre, looking good in a picture, organization, love notes, long showers, inspiration, smart animals, cigars for a new baby, crying because you're happy, organics, bad words on a calculator, Jimmy Hendrix muzak in an elevator, the 80's being 'retro', right place at the right time, being in love, dive bars, marathon kissing, baby books for your kids, henna tattoos, birth marks, freckles, free babysitting, kisses from behind, good lighting, wild flowers, cloudy days, bamboo, apples in salad, making soap, John Prine & Iris Demet's "In Spite of Ourselves", porches, courtyards, common sense, "Go Away" door mats, John Lennon, erasers, cookie dough, dictionaries, travel, electric cars, chapstick, almond oil, cat teeth, baby's breath.

So there.
What are you thankful for?

Have A Look-See

1) Go to G**gle

2) Type in the word "failure"

3) E-mail everyone you know!

Judgment Day

I went to a blog once where listed on the "100 Things About Me" it said, "I love going to Wal-Mart, because it is there I feel skinny." I thought that was the funniest thing I had ever read.

I totally understand. But I'd like to go once step further and add something if I might.

I love going to Wal-Mart because it is there I feel skinnny and smart!
Let me fill you in as to why.

Chris and I went there yesterday- the Sunday afternoon prior to the first day of school. It was a mad-house. Exhausting, to say the least. And the place was filled with every type of person imaginable. Now, I try not to be a judgmental person. HA! I'm the most judgmental person I know! But I think you'll understand why!

I saw SEVERAL obese women riding around in those little scooter carts with the front baskets LOADED with baked goods, chips and soda! Make the connection, honey. Make the connection.

I saw a meek woman, with an imposing man, and a BIG black bruise on her left cheek. Hoping it was a door in the middle of the night.

I saw a heroin thin woman with stringy hair in the shortest shorts ever dragging her kids through the store - with two BIG hickeys on her neck. Lovely.

I saw a pregnant sixteen year old child, with her little thug boyfriend. She had no eyebrows, lots of black eyeliner, and her belly hanging out severely. He had his pants down to his knees, and was 'pimp walking' in front of her. Promising.

I saw countless plastic mothers and the next generation of plastic daughters. Over-processed hair, leather thick over-processed skin, and frosty pale pink lipstick. It's 2006 ladies - Farrah's like 60 now!

I saw young women in 'break-neck' heels, strutting their stuff through the school supplies. Education can't buy self-respect.

I saw people with no teeth buying frivolous electronics. Priorities, folks.

I saw kids tearing things off the shelves, while their parents just ignored it. Ah! The next generation of thoughtless assholes.

I saw 'Jello pudding' parents who tried softly reasoning with their irrational two-year old in the midst of a horrific temper tantrum. Hey folks - news flash - YOU'RE the one in charge!

I heard a yearly dose of things like, "I ain't got no...," "I seen...," (which Chris says - but it bothers me less with him for some reason - cuz I love him, maybe?) "Yo, that's tight!," "get your butt...," "I'll whip your butt...," etc.

The experience, however, was peppered with glimpses of 'normal' people. People who seemed more our speed. Women who weren't dolled up. Families who spoke kindly to each other. People who actually had fruits and vegetables in their carts. Parents who actively parented their children. Couples who showed their affection for each other by holding hands. Fathers who carried their babies.

I call Wal-Mart, "Wally World." And the trip yesterday was a shining example of why. Trips to Wally World just seem to throw the true reality of things at you. The world is a discouraging place.

I have great moral reserve shopping there - really I do. That, coupled with placing myself in the company of SO many people for whom I have little to no respect, is making me re-think my shopping habits. Maybe I should go to the grocery store for groceries! And head to the corner drug store for toiletries! Ya think?

There is a part of me, a BIG part of me, who wants to live in a bubble. I don't want to have to share my world with ignorant, uneducated, priority-screwed, self-centered people. I don't. People like that make me really pissed off - judgmental.

I wish I could be one of those people who was either oblivious, understanding, or tolerant. But I'm not.

Go ahead, judge me.

Anything Goes!

This past weekend marked the end of the craziest summer of my life! The season ended with me choreographing "Anything Goes" for Gladstone Theatre In The Park. It was a wonderful conclusion. And this is the reason why............. Evan stealin' the show!
trenches anyone? (that's the tap step he's doing)












So, watching my son perform was a fantastic treat! I love that he loves the theatre! I hope he loves it for the rest of his life!

And if he's famous one day - just remember you saw him here first!
Edit: Evan has just posted to his blog. I have no idea what it means, but it's there none-the-less.

Feast Your Eyes

Mama's got a brown eyed baby, a blue eyed baby, and a green eyed baby - remember the New Order song? "oh you got green eyes, oh you got blue eyes, oh you got got [brown] eyes."










One dog, one cat, three kids, early morning, beating the sick summer heat.










Evan's tenth Fourth of July at 4:58 kiss!

Back In The Olden Days

I woke up this morning and tried to write something original. Three takes later, I had nothing. So, luckily for me, my cousin Shannen e-mailed this to me today! Yup, that's right! It's another "somebody sent me this e-mail" post! Sorry, I've been such a bore lately. I'm fried.

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways ... through year 'round blizzards. Carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse, where they maintained a Straight-A average, despite their full- time, after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death!
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!! There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter ... with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!
And talk of about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had to steal it from your brother or bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! Those were your options!
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Play Station video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600, with games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids." And the graphics sucked! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! JUST LIKE LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on and you had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!
There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little brats!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire. Imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid JiffyPop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled.You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!