One For The Grandkids

She met the boy when she was 12 or 13. In the lobby of a movie theatre. He was on a date with one of her friends from the old neighborhood. They were introduced. "Hi.," she said. He nodded and looked shyly at the floor, as his lower lip curled up under his top one. That was it. Nothing more.

She met him again, about a year later when she had her first serious boyfriend. They were in the same circle of friends. The girl, the boy, the boyfriend, and the old neighborhood friend. But she didn't remember meeting him before. He hadn't been important. He still wasn't. He was just one of the boys in the group. One of the recognizable faces in the crowd.

Over the next 15 years, their lives intertwined. They would see each other various places. They would spend evenings together - they shared the same close friends - but they never spoke to eachother. They had nothing to say.
He moved away and then came back. She moved away and then came back. They were simply standard in eachother's lives. Always there, but for no real reason. And not missed when they were apart. Not even thought of.

One day, after the girl had married and become a mother, the idea came up to get in touch with an old friend. She and her best friend were talking, and the old "I wonder what_______ is up to?" question entered the conversation. Being who she is, the girl immediately looked up the phone number and called the person in question. After a very short and lighthearted conversation, plans were made to meet that Thursday - a mere 4 days away. "Is it okay if I bring 'the boy?'," the long lost friend asked. "Sure!," the girl replied. And the countdown began.

Four days later, they waited - this girl and her best friend. And through the doors walked the long lost friend and 'the boy'. It was awkward at first. It had been years! But after a few drinks, the conversation flew and years of catching up was under way.

The girl and 'the boy' didn't speak to each other at first. Nothing had changed. They had nothing to say. But as the night drew on, they discovered they could speak with each other and it was really quite enjoyable.

So, having had a great time, the group made plans to go out again. Nothing specific. Just the promise they wouldn't let so much time go by before they saw each other again.

They kept their promise. And within the next few months the friends hit the town a few more times. Nothing really. Just good reckless fun. Then back to reality the next day.

One night, the girl was home by herself. Her children were there, but they had been in bed for a couple of hours. At 10pm, the phone rang. And it was him. It was 'the boy'. He was calling her back. She had called him earlier that day - just to taunt him really. 'The boy' never spoke on the phone. He wouldn't answer it when people called. She knew this. And she had called him earlier that day just because. No reason, really. Just being silly.
But there she stood - dumbfounded he was on the other end. And surprisingly filled with excitement! They spoke effortlessly for 4 hours. Covering everything from religion to politics, to music, to movies...... the list goes on. They laughed. They debated. They disagreed. They agreed. At 2am, when they hung up, she was invigorated! After all these years, she had so much in common with 'the boy'! She was thrilled by their new friendship. Thrilled!

Over the next few months, they started to do more things together. They went to performances and concerts. They debated current events over a couple of drinks and a pack of smokes. They were genuine friends!

But there was a problem.

The girl began to realize she was falling in love with the boy. She began to realize their friendship was the stuff great relationships are made of.

She was married.

So, she backed off. For a minute. But she couldn't stay away. She wanted to be with him more than anything. She didn't know what to do. So she went to her husband. She explained that she thought she might be falling in love with 'the boy'. They had a heartfelt discussion with no resolution. Which was typical.

When the girl married her husband, she had been young - emotionally and spiritually young. She hadn't known her path. She had a pretty good sense of herself, but had the habit of losing it once and awhile. So she had unfortunately married someone with whom she shared nothing in common except two gorgeous children.

With 'the boy', she came back to who she was. She became the girl again. Not just the mommy. Not just the worker. Not just someone's wife. She came back to herself. And it felt fabulous.

For the next year, the girl struggled with what to do. She and her husband kept open communication about their feelings and what they really wanted. And the decision was made. They both needed to go their separate ways. They had been complacent too long. They had nothing in common. They didn't have a strong relationship - one that would stand after the kids moved on. It was a painful discovery, but it was honest. Probably the first honest thing they had done for each other (for themselves) in a long time.
They sat the children down, and the world crumbled.

Over the next year, the girl focused fiercely on getting her children through the crisis. She cut back her hours at work to be home with them more. She volunteered at their school. Her husband was committed too. He remained heavily in their life as before. They did what they could for their children. They operated from a place of love and guilt. But they never second guessed their decision. Not once.

And over the course of the same year, the girl and the boy were free to love eachother as they wished. They took it slow. Things progressed, on a certain level, based on the allowances of the children. Nothing was forced. Nothing was unwelcome. There was no need to rush things.

The girl didn't know where the relationship was headed. She knew she wanted to be with 'the boy', but didn't know in what capacity. She never thought they would be friends. She never thought they would be lovers. But look what happened! She just knew she wanted to be with him.

In her dreams, she pictured them married and having a baby together. But those were dreams. Her reality was two children, work, house payments, and an ex-husband. She never doubted her relationship with 'the boy'. Not once. It just needed to stay in it's place for the time being.

So, we fast-forward to May 28, 2006. The first anniversary of the girl and 'the boy'! They have a beautiful daughter together named Roxy. Their three children are happy and healthy. The girl is still absolutely in love with the boy!

Over twenty years ago, I met the love of my life.

And I've never been happier.