Uh Huh, Just Pretend This Isn't You!
Here's a funny one I got from my friend Teresa in Phoenix. I identified.
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break-up."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@.. kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?"
Bonus:26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break-up."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@.. kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?"
Bonus:26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.
posted by noncommon at 9:11 AM
10 Comments:
Shit. I got the bonus question right. Shit.
So...do I get a prize or something?
I not only watch the Weather Channel, I'm ADDICTED TO IT. There. I said it. Now I can go home and drink into my $20 glass of wine.
crying and laughing simultaneously. Why? because it's sad. it's sad because it's true. on the other hand, it's also funny because it's true.
*sigh*
Cameo, you rule.
Oh man, this list made me want to go back to college and relive the good ole days. Taco Bell at 2am usually meant we had a pretty fun night.
I do NOT watch the Weather Channel...so there...unless I'm bored, or sick, or have insomnia...oh my god...what HAPPENED to us??!!
I think youngster watch the Weather Channel too. Maybe. Sigh.
These are all me. But I'm only 23 years old.
Also, RYN: Nope, everything you read in that post was absolutely true. Happened to me a little less than three years ago. But while I am, indeed, an Aries, I'm not sure about what your comment referred to. Explain?
If there is no spit up on the jeans and the sweater, then I am Dressed Up! Yippee... I'm not old, I'm not old.
Whaddaya-mean that makes me even more ancient and pathetic? Time to go slink off and watch the weather channel.
Actually the only one that doesn't apply is #24. I did that one when I was young and broke. It was called pre-party.
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