Hi Evan! Hi Noah!

It's happening........ I kid you not......... At this very moment.................. My son is on the phone with a girl! And the conversation from this end sounds a little something like this...

"No." pause "Who wants to know?" pause "I'm not tellin'!" pause "Why are you even calling me?"

Oh! Oh! Wait! The little brother has entered the conversation and is chasing Evan (still on the phone) through the house screaming, "He does too like Katie! He likes Katie! He does!"

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I remember those days. Having your friend call a boy and asking him who he likes. All the while, you're sitting there listening on the other line - Or like we used to do it in the olden days, smashing your ear up to the receiver holding your breath so the boy didn't hear two separate sets of breathing. And trying not to giggle and give your 'secret' away.

All those years of pulling one over on those poor boys.

Me, being the ever helpful and hip mama, decided to 'fill him in' on the secret.

"Psst. Evan. Is she asking you if you like Katie?"

Nod.

"You know Katie is really there with her?" The big reveal!

"Yeah, I know.," Completely irritated by my ignorance.

Touche!


So, today we have entered a new realm. The girls have officially begun to call! And life as I knew it is over, my friends. Over.
And what makes this whole event even scarier is Evan telling me the other day he wanted to kiss Katie!

That's it people! I'm running away now!

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Hang on tight! The phone just rang again. This time for Noah. And it's his friend Justin calling to tell him that his little sister saw a picture of Noah in the yearbook and thinks he's cute and wants to be his girlfriend!

What is going on here? Two of those phone calls in the same afternoon in the course of 20 minutes!

So, as I was saying earlier.......... Life as I know it is over, my friends. Over. There is no more hope.

Oh wait! Yes, there is! Roxy is flipping over now. Soon she'll be crawling, then walking, then talking, then talking back......... ok, so it's always 'over', huh?

The joys of being a mama!

You know I secretly love all this, don't you?

One For The Grandkids

She met the boy when she was 12 or 13. In the lobby of a movie theatre. He was on a date with one of her friends from the old neighborhood. They were introduced. "Hi.," she said. He nodded and looked shyly at the floor, as his lower lip curled up under his top one. That was it. Nothing more.

She met him again, about a year later when she had her first serious boyfriend. They were in the same circle of friends. The girl, the boy, the boyfriend, and the old neighborhood friend. But she didn't remember meeting him before. He hadn't been important. He still wasn't. He was just one of the boys in the group. One of the recognizable faces in the crowd.

Over the next 15 years, their lives intertwined. They would see each other various places. They would spend evenings together - they shared the same close friends - but they never spoke to eachother. They had nothing to say.
He moved away and then came back. She moved away and then came back. They were simply standard in eachother's lives. Always there, but for no real reason. And not missed when they were apart. Not even thought of.

One day, after the girl had married and become a mother, the idea came up to get in touch with an old friend. She and her best friend were talking, and the old "I wonder what_______ is up to?" question entered the conversation. Being who she is, the girl immediately looked up the phone number and called the person in question. After a very short and lighthearted conversation, plans were made to meet that Thursday - a mere 4 days away. "Is it okay if I bring 'the boy?'," the long lost friend asked. "Sure!," the girl replied. And the countdown began.

Four days later, they waited - this girl and her best friend. And through the doors walked the long lost friend and 'the boy'. It was awkward at first. It had been years! But after a few drinks, the conversation flew and years of catching up was under way.

The girl and 'the boy' didn't speak to each other at first. Nothing had changed. They had nothing to say. But as the night drew on, they discovered they could speak with each other and it was really quite enjoyable.

So, having had a great time, the group made plans to go out again. Nothing specific. Just the promise they wouldn't let so much time go by before they saw each other again.

They kept their promise. And within the next few months the friends hit the town a few more times. Nothing really. Just good reckless fun. Then back to reality the next day.

One night, the girl was home by herself. Her children were there, but they had been in bed for a couple of hours. At 10pm, the phone rang. And it was him. It was 'the boy'. He was calling her back. She had called him earlier that day - just to taunt him really. 'The boy' never spoke on the phone. He wouldn't answer it when people called. She knew this. And she had called him earlier that day just because. No reason, really. Just being silly.
But there she stood - dumbfounded he was on the other end. And surprisingly filled with excitement! They spoke effortlessly for 4 hours. Covering everything from religion to politics, to music, to movies...... the list goes on. They laughed. They debated. They disagreed. They agreed. At 2am, when they hung up, she was invigorated! After all these years, she had so much in common with 'the boy'! She was thrilled by their new friendship. Thrilled!

Over the next few months, they started to do more things together. They went to performances and concerts. They debated current events over a couple of drinks and a pack of smokes. They were genuine friends!

But there was a problem.

The girl began to realize she was falling in love with the boy. She began to realize their friendship was the stuff great relationships are made of.

She was married.

So, she backed off. For a minute. But she couldn't stay away. She wanted to be with him more than anything. She didn't know what to do. So she went to her husband. She explained that she thought she might be falling in love with 'the boy'. They had a heartfelt discussion with no resolution. Which was typical.

When the girl married her husband, she had been young - emotionally and spiritually young. She hadn't known her path. She had a pretty good sense of herself, but had the habit of losing it once and awhile. So she had unfortunately married someone with whom she shared nothing in common except two gorgeous children.

With 'the boy', she came back to who she was. She became the girl again. Not just the mommy. Not just the worker. Not just someone's wife. She came back to herself. And it felt fabulous.

For the next year, the girl struggled with what to do. She and her husband kept open communication about their feelings and what they really wanted. And the decision was made. They both needed to go their separate ways. They had been complacent too long. They had nothing in common. They didn't have a strong relationship - one that would stand after the kids moved on. It was a painful discovery, but it was honest. Probably the first honest thing they had done for each other (for themselves) in a long time.
They sat the children down, and the world crumbled.

Over the next year, the girl focused fiercely on getting her children through the crisis. She cut back her hours at work to be home with them more. She volunteered at their school. Her husband was committed too. He remained heavily in their life as before. They did what they could for their children. They operated from a place of love and guilt. But they never second guessed their decision. Not once.

And over the course of the same year, the girl and the boy were free to love eachother as they wished. They took it slow. Things progressed, on a certain level, based on the allowances of the children. Nothing was forced. Nothing was unwelcome. There was no need to rush things.

The girl didn't know where the relationship was headed. She knew she wanted to be with 'the boy', but didn't know in what capacity. She never thought they would be friends. She never thought they would be lovers. But look what happened! She just knew she wanted to be with him.

In her dreams, she pictured them married and having a baby together. But those were dreams. Her reality was two children, work, house payments, and an ex-husband. She never doubted her relationship with 'the boy'. Not once. It just needed to stay in it's place for the time being.

So, we fast-forward to May 28, 2006. The first anniversary of the girl and 'the boy'! They have a beautiful daughter together named Roxy. Their three children are happy and healthy. The girl is still absolutely in love with the boy!

Over twenty years ago, I met the love of my life.

And I've never been happier.

Good Thoughts

Do you remember this little diddy from the 70's? It's by Don Williams - I love it! It was one of the songs Chris & I put on the CD we made in celebration of getting married. Here are the lyrics.....

I don't believe in superstars, organic foods, and foreign cars
I don't believe the price of gold, the certainty of growing old
That right is right and left is wrong
That north and south can't get along
That east is east and west is west
And being first is always best

But I believe in love
I believe in babies
I believe in mom and dad
And I believe in you

I don't believe that heaven waits for only those who congregrate
I like to think of God as love
He's down below, He's up above
He's watching people everywhere
He knows who does and doesn't care
And I'm an old and married man
Sometimes I wonder who I am

But I believe in love
I believe in music
I believe in magic
And I believe in you

I know with all my certainty
What's going on with you and me is a good thing
It's true, I believe in you

Well, I don't believe virginity is as common as it used to be
And working days and sleeping nights
That black is black and white is white
That Superman and Robin Hood are still alive in Hollywood
That gasoline's in short supply
The rising cost of getting by

But I believe in love
I believe in old folks
I believe in children
And I believe in you


Have a good day!

Uh Huh, Just Pretend This Isn't You!

Here's a funny one I got from my friend Teresa in Phoenix. I identified.

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break-up."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@.. kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?"

Bonus:26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.

A Heavy Dose Of The Good Stuff

Is there anyone else out there who ever looks at their children and suddenly gets hit with the enormity of them? That's what happened when I looked at these pictures of my babies. I got hit with that little dose of reality that they have their own consciousness; their own sense of being; their own reality. It truly is an amazing feeling. I get so busy with the day to day happenings - work, home, bills, plans, blah blah blah, you know the drill. And I enjoy my children. I really do. Even when they're under foot and wanting something from me ALL THE TIME. But these little moments are refreshing and I'm glad I have them. Just looking into their eyes and not being able to understand the complexity of it all is a great reality slap. One I find I need periodically.

Sometimes I find myself wondering what it feels like to be someone I see driving down the street. Like, what's their reality? What's going on in their world right now? What are they thinking about? This is the feeling I'm talking about.
Looking into Evan, Noah & Roxy's eyes makes me wonder their reality. Their thoughts, feelings, dreams, secrets. It's a very humbling thought that I may "control" their world now, but I can never control their spirit.

EPIC

Okay, this is the video that I wanted people to see. It was sent to me by my friend Deb. It's kinda long - about 7 minutes - so be prepared for that. But, I just think this is very interesting! And deserves some attention. I'd like to thank dear Ms. Bombadee for helping me out with the whole Video Egg thing (which wouldn't work for this, thus the link). So, take a minute, er, 7 minutes, and sit back and ponder. This video is called EPIC.


And this has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but I find it amazing. Utterly amazing.

Flippin Network Execs!

There are only three television shows I watch (well, usually). The first is Sunday Morning. Although I've missed it the last 3 weeks because I've been sleeping through it. The second is Boston Legal, because I am home on Tuesday night. And the third, is Grey's Anatomy. And wouldn't you know it - the f**kers decided to go and have a 2-hour, 2-day finale with the final episode TONIGHT! WHEN I'M AT WORK!!! Damn them. It's not like I'm addicted or anything. But come on people! Couldn't they have just had a two hour show last night? Now I'm either going to have my husband tape it, or I'm going to have to rely on good commentary from him to get me the info I wanna know. I hate it when the networks decided I have no life. Damn them all to hell!


edit: Now I hear the moron president is going to speak tonight. If that idiot ruins my season final I swear I will hate him with a vengeance more than I do now. You can mess up the country, and other people's country. You can let your friends rob me at the gas pump. You can destroy the environment more than any president. You can lie, swindle, cheat, and be the dumbest f**ucking moron EVER to hit the face of the planet - but don't you dare F**K with my show, man! Don't you dare.

NOTE: New title to post FLIPPIN' MORON PRESIDENT

Strong Women and then Some

I went and saw my grandmother today! She's too cool. She's strong and spunky and edgy and I love her like nothing else. She is no taller than a short stack of pancakes and her voice is deep and gruff with the undertones of a growl. She is funny and quick witted. I wanna be like her when I grow up.

Anyway, she shared some interesting information with me. I am a descent of people who have the same last name as my husband. Holy shit people, we could be VERY distant cousins! I freakin' love it! And so does he! We're going to do more research on his family line and see if we have related blood somewhere in the past (circa 1700's). I think the whole thing is cool. And when I told Marcie she said things like this probably happen more than we know. Just looking at all the information my grandma has, I find it hard to believe that we're not all related somehow. Seriously!

And on a totally unrelated note - I'm reading this book.
Get it! Go check it out at the library or spend the money and buy the thing! We all need to take a hard-core look at the world around us and shift things! Not only for our daughters, but also for our sons! It's my opinion the Feminist Movement needs to be re-energized and awakened! This is NOT the post-feminist era, it's really a no-feminist era. Let's all get our acts together! This is one area we need to back-track on. We NEED to!


And here's a photo that has nothing to do with anything except it's really cute!
And I've got a couple of things that I want to post here within the next couple of days. But I have to figure out how to do it. Two are videos - one is kinda funny. The other is a little long but incredibly interesting and worth the time viewing it. I think it's something that warrants thought. The final is something Marcie send me today. So, if I find the time to figure all these things out, I'll put them up. So, check back.
And on a final note. Here's wishing a great Mother's Day to all the mama's I know. And here's wishing a great Mother's Day to all the babies who were loved by a good mama. Good ju-ju to you all!!!!!

Jibber Jabber

What to write about today? Let's see, I could complain about the incompetence at the bank this morning or the stupid policy I witnessed the other day at the store who's name rhymes with "small fart." Or I could tell you that I had a meltdown the other night in front of the dryer (kind of an appropriate place, no?) and that my sweet man of a husband talked me through it. Or I could tell you this is the busiest time of the year and that I have both a recital and a company performance in the next two weeks. And that the boys are out of school on the 26th. And that I get a week "off" and then back to work again for a three week workshop that I still have to prepare for. Or that Roxy's pooping at this very moment. Or that I just got through changing a poopy diaper! Or all the countless random thoughts that enter my head on a daily basis. Like, does anyone else ever wonder what it feels like to be someone they see driving down the street? Or how people seem to have SO much it makes me wonder how much they get paid, or if they're living beyond their means. Or why didn't I become a weather person?

But instead I think I'll write about this...... Roxy is at that phase where she eats her feet, and I love it!
I forgot babies do that. And my sweet princess growls. It's the most charming thing. Growling, charming? Damn straight! When it's your baby, EVERYTHING is charming.


And these are the flowers I got for MayDay.

And this is the man that gave them to me. I had to chase him with one pant leg on and my underwear partially (alright, FULLY) exposed. He was a gem and stopped running!

And I went and saw Gigi today! She is shear perfection! She can't hear a damn thing, but that's okay. As she said, there are some benefits to getting old and being deaf.

And that my Noah is a lean, mean, dancing machine. And I love that he enjoys dance, and doesn't care what other people think about it!!!!!

And that my Evan said the sweetest things about me for his Mother's Day Tea at school. It's an interesting take -what your kids remember and their perspective on things.

And that my sweet angel princess slept 10 hours last night and I feel like a new woman!!!!! HAVE A GREAT DAY!

The Gigi Post!!!

This is the e-mail I got from her daughter today!

YAHOOO....after a few very rough days mom has made great progress. She's talking, laughing, sitting in a chair and eating a bit. She is in great spirits, although she doesn't remember too much of what happened. She told the nurses they must be crazy when they told her she had heart surgery.
She is doing so well they may move her out of ICU today...yippee!!!!
All of the nursing staff in ICU are rooting for her and they all think she is a hoot!

Thank you all for your prayers, cards, notes, calls and good wishes. When I told her how many people were pulling for her she was just thrilled.

Thank you all again for your support.

Love,
Berni


(and on a side note - tomorrow she turns 89!!!!!)

Blogging Smlogging

I don't have "readers." And truth be told, I don't want to have readers. What I do have, after a few months here in the blogsphere, is a handful of like-minded, kid-toting, liberal feminist chicks that I exchange thoughts with. What I don't have is a business or a great desire to be one of a group. Now, don't get me wrong. I have nothing against those individuals who want to make something more out of their time here in the blog world. "Go fer it," if it makes you happy. But there are certain things I don't understand, like renters (seriously, I don't get how this works), and selling ad space, etc. I thought the word blog was short for Web Log. You know, like a journal. A diary. A place where you threw ideas and thoughts and people responded and that was about it. I thought the premise was to broaden your world by allowing you to find others who share your views, interests, concerns. That is why we all filled out the profile section, right?
I have no interest in blogging turning into a business. (don't get me wrong, if I made 6 figures off 400+ comments, I would probably re-consider. but that's not going to happen) Nor do I have an interest in clamoring for attention. Seriously, if I read somebody's post and there are 20 or more comments, I leave. To me it's like being in grade school when a special presentation is over and it's time for Q & A and everybody is waving their hands way up high and oohhhing and aahhhhing and hoping that they will be one of the lucky ones that gets picked. I don't do that. I never have. I figure if you wanted me around, there'd be room. And I'm not trying to insult anybody by saying this! Please believe me when I say that. I'm really not. I like a someone who has a following. And when I leave her comments she replies. I like her. But she hasn't been around here lately. I think she's really busy.
Anyway, I think all this stems from something I found out when I was set the graduate from college. In one class, we had to take a test. A test designed to give us a better perspective as to our likes, interests, and strong suits. I thrived in artistic areas. Abstract thought was down my alley. What wasn't? Social Institutions. I bombed anything having to do with structure. Kind of ironic for a ballet instructor, huh? Anyway, what this means is that I don't play well in large groups. Duh. I have no desire to belong to the group - any group. Do I appreciate the circles that I am in? Hell yes! But NOT because I am a member. Simply because I appreciate the people in them. If they all told me to take a flying leap, my feelings might be hurt, but I'd leap and never look back.
So, I realize that everybody starts a blog for different reasons. And I'm not slamming anybody or their choices. All I'm saying is, if you come here often and think you like me sometimes, cool! I can honestly say that the people who leave me comments I have found to be funny, interesting, and like-minded. And that's great! It's nice to know that there are others out there who share (some of) your views. It's a nice new little circle. And I like things just the way they are.

DreamBoat

Characters: Chris, Evan, Noah & Mama
Setting: all the males are in the kitchen, Mama is walking through the living room

Mama: Uh oh, the pretty boy's on T.V.

Evan: Who's the pretty boy?

Mama: Matthew McConahey.

Noah: Who's that?

Chris: He's your mom's dreamboat.

Mama: No no, you're my dreamboat.

Chris: Nope, I'm your tugboat.

Mama: That's right baby! (chuckling and wrapping her arms around his BIG belly) You're my tugboat.