So Long, Farewell...

Helloooooo! Is there anybody out there?
Are there still people who come by my spot periodically to check on me?
If so, I have to apologize for my bad blogging behavior - actually, my bad lack of blogging behavior.
If you check you're site meter you will notice I've been coming to see you even if I haven't left a comment.

One of the reasons I've been bad about posting is because I used to check my site meter too, and noticed there were a couple of people who regularly visited me. People from this very city. People who's job locations gave them away. People I don't think I know - or maybe I DO!

Regardless, these people don't leave me comments which leads me to believe I might know them and don't want them knowing more about me than I want them to know.

With me?

So, I think I'm going to be shutting this blog down.

My hope is to re-surface someplace else in total anonymity. And that way those sneaky people, whom I probably don't like much anyway, won't get to know my shit.

So, if you're one of the people who have been lurking in my world - bye!

I will contact those people I know to let you know the new location, if and when it arises. And if you don't hear from me, e-mail me and I will let you know too.

So, bye-bye from my messy, beautiful life.

Cameo

Look Who's ONE!

December 9th marked Roxy's first birthday!

I'm having a hard time believing she's already one. It's going by so fast.
And I have to say, she is the coolest little kid you'll ever meet - and smart too!
She's easy going, but determined.
She is happy - very, very happy.
She laughs just to be part of the group.
She claps at the word "Yeah!"

She studied herself fake crying in the mirror the other day, and then used her new found talent on her dad later that night.
She loves to tell everyone she meets "Hi.", and does so in the prettiest little deep voice you've ever heard.
She loves to do things she knows she's not supposed to and raises her eyebrows when you tell her "No!"
She has lashes as long as a doe.
She walks like she just got off a horse.
She is off the bottle without one complaint.
She eats Cheerios with milk for breakfast.
She loves her huggy bear.
She loves her family.

She is the baby I thought I'd never have. She is the baby Chris thought he'd never have. She's the little sister of two enamoured big brothers.


She's our Roxy. The most beautiful little girl in the world.

Linger

the baby was taking a nap.
the boys were outside throwing ice at a tree.
my husband was working on the house.

i was having a moment.
one where i was feeling immense gratitude for the luck.
the fortune.

whatever you call it, all was right with the world in that moment.

and then the baby woke up.
and the boys came inside.
and the hubby finished his task.

and i stood at the sink doing the dishes for the um-teenth time this week.

and somehow all was right with the world.
still.

and the gratitude grew.
and the moment lingered.
and my world got really small and comfortable.

and cherished.
oh so cherished.

HAPPY TURKEY DAY Y'ALL!

Here' hoping your day is as good as you deserve!
Good tidings to you all!
Love,
Cameo

Requirement: PRETTY!

Setting: In the car, on the way home, after getting the boys from school.
Characters: Evan, Mom & Noah

And Action...


Mom: So, who has homework?

Evan: Me! I have tons of math homework. Just great, isn't it? I suck at math and yet they keep giving me more! (sarcastic tone)

Mom: Okay, I was thinking that maybe we should get you a tutor or something to help out when you get stuck. I was thinking maybe I would ask William. Does that sound like something you might be interested in?

Evan: pause Well, okay. But she has to be a girl and she has to be pretty.

Obviously he only listened to half of what I said

Mom: Uh, Evan, no.

Evan: But mom, I work well with pretty people!

Noah: Am I pretty?

Mom's head is spinning while she laughs.



And cut...

Bitter Sweet Comfort

LOOK MA! I'm getting brand new big people furniture! The couch and chair are named Bernie and the ottoman is named Dot!



They should be arriving in 8-12 weeks. Hope we like them, because if we don't that's just too damn bad!




And as all good things have to have a counterpart - we got our personal property tax bill in the mail yesterday. It's 4x more than it was last year and 8x more than the year before. Just in time for Christmas!



Thanks so much county auditor - you're the best!

It's A Good Damn Day!!!

Today, I am proud to say I am a Missourian!! (McCaskill, stem cell research, raising the minimum wage)
And I am proud to be an American again!! (we got the House and the Senate is lookin' good!)
Let's get the ball rolling on investigating this corrupt administration.
Bush and Rove no longer have a free ride! They must be held accountable for all the harm they've done!
Congrats fellow level-headed, free-thinking, thoughtful voters!
This time WE MADE A DIFFERENCE!!!!!!!

A little bit of this. A little bit of that.

Pssst. Hey baby, turn around.










Lovely (if I do say so myself).










YEAH!! CRAP!!












And last but not least.
(can I have a drumroll please.....................)



LOOK WHO'S WALKING!!!!!


And where did you get those curls, baby?

Bring It On Baby!! Bring It On!!

Thirty-six!
Today, I'm thirty-six!
On the downhill slide to forty.
Whatever!

All I wanna know is when am I gonna feel like a grown-up?
When am I gonna feel like a big person?

I'm four years away from forty.
I have three children.
I'm on my second marriage (that sounds negative - it's not! just that I've been married to someone else before -WEIRD!)
I own my house.
I own my car.
I have insurance - health, home, auto, and life.
I have more shit than I need.
I'm fatter than I thought I would ever be.
And I'm my own boss.

All these "big people" things I'm doing, and I still feel young.
Still doubtful I have the ability to make the right choices.
Sometimes a little jealous of the freedoms I no longer have.
Still wanting to look hip and hot.
Seeing an "adult" in the mirror, but having a hard time believing it's me.

Regardless of the juxtaposition of feelings and reality - there's not one thing I would change.
Not one decision, mistake, or choice I regret.

I guess I'm glad I don't feel like a big person.
How boring would that be?

Yea, I'm doing the adult thing.
I realized a long time ago, that convention exists for a reason.
But just because I'm doing those conventional things doesn't mean I've grown old.

There's a balance to life.
I'm still an old punk at heart - defiant, critical, angry at the stupidity of the world.
But now I can see all the good things too - like babies, and true love, and good friends, and family.

And so I guess I'm in a good place - this downhill slide to forty.
I know what battles to wage now.
I know what matters most.

So I don't feel like an adult yet?
Who the hell cares?
I'm playing the game and winning so far.
And when I'm on the downhill slide to 90, I hope I feel the exact same way.

Stop The Presses!

You are so not going to believe this!

I was sitting in Wendy's today, sharing a strawberry yogurt with the Rox, and all the sudden I get a phone call.

But not just any phone call - THE phone call!

The one telling me there's a check in the mail.

I SHIT YOU NOT!!!!

I should have bitched and moaned a long time ago.

My "Whatthefuckever" Anniversary

Well, it's been a year. A whole entire year. Twelve months. 365 days. 525,600 minutes. A whole flippin' year since I got one shiny dime from my ex for child support. What a glorious day, indeed.
So what's a girl to do? I have pondered and pondered and sought advice from Chris and Marcie on several occassions. And here I sit, still spinning my wheels.
I think it's time to do something. And for some reason I'm still hesitant. Is it because I have some guilt for us not being together? No, not really. I think I was fair when we split up. He got his 401K, I got the house - we had the same amount of equity in each. He got his car, I got mine. I offered him any and all furniture he wanted/needed. He took some bedroom furniture but refused anything else. He discoverd MasterCard and Visa, and didn't understand the rules of the game. But hey, that's okay! He was away from oppressive ol' me. Um, okay.
So, all was going well (this is relative you understand) and then he meets this little girl. She made him euphoric. She fed him beautiful ignorant images of what life could be. And soon visions of "Bubba Rockstar" and notority began dancing in his head. ("So good to finally be with someone who supports me instead of someone who is constantly holding me back" ie: making me be a mature, responsible MAN!)
Anyway, in his euphoric state, he went to buy a house. And in his euphoric state he took her great advice to quit his job - THE DAY BEFORE HE WAS CLOSING ON THE HOUSE!!! Can you say "downpayment poof!?"
And who, I ask you, bears the burden of the stupid choices? No wait! Don't answer that! It gets better!
He marries the little idiot! And then six months later divorces her. Without a lawyer. He gets stuck with half of the debt she came into the marriage with. This is when we all thank Cameo for getting him neutered.
Anyway, he moves back to Texas with his mother. Gets a job in the same restaurant he was working at when we moved up here. And then breaks his arm unloading god damned music equipment off a truck.
No able to work means no able to have money which means no able to take care of my children - but hey, I'm a rockstar man!
So, the day has come when Cameo returns to making this "man" a man. I am going to have to make him accountable. He's a charming person -that's why he gets away with what he does. He's not a bad person either - just stupid as the day is long. The shining example of "victim mentality" introverted. Instead of being pissed at others, he wages his fights internally - making choices with blatent disregard for rationale. Never looking at the "big picture." Never.
He calls the boys. I have to give him some credit for that. But when he does, all he talks about is his band. He never asks them about school. He never imparts any type of valuable information designed to make them think of him in a father-like manner. He never asks them about what's going on in their worlds. It's just about him and his "music." And not once has he said anything about making any type of payment. Not once! EVEN THOUGH I HAVE ASKED HIM ABOUT IT!!!
I'm tired of it. And I don't know if I go after him - "you can't bleed a turnip" or if I head down another path and approach the issue from the perspective of weeding him further out of the boys lives. I struggle with that honestly. I know it's happening already, and I have no problem with it. He doesn't have a lot to offer them.
So, with no end in sight to this dilema, I sit here and wonder how I'm going to handle it.
The boys deserve better. Hell, I deserve better! He has literally walked away from any responsibility of raising these boys. For that matter, Chris deserves better for stepping up to the plate and fathering these little men!
LET'S ALL HEAR IT FOR CHRIS!!!!!!

Yes, my friends, I made the right choice. Not only for me, but my boys.

I got nothing else.
Have a good day!!!!!

Punting In The Blogsphere

Blogging has been at the bottom of the priority list as of late. Truth is, I'm bored with it, and I don't have anything important or clever to say. I have been making the rounds, but rarely leaving comments anymore. Why? I dunno.

But I can tell you things that have been happening here if you like.

We got the coolest pictures of Roxy taken when she turned 9 months. I'll post a couple soon.

Evan is driving me crazy on a daily basis. I'm really ready for the attitude to stop.

Noah is doing pretty well. He's doing great in school.

Chris is working his ass off. I still think he's the shit. I'm amazed at how much I love that man.

Work is back in full gear. I was pissy last night.

We have banished the cats from the house. They now have their own little area in the garage. I hate that we have done it, but Lola kept peeing everywhere and well, you get the gist.

My birthday is coming up. I love my birthday.

We're breaking ground on the new dining room within the next couple of weeks! YEAH!

So, that's about it. Just normal life stuff. Still waiting to win the lottery. Still hoping for my child to lose the chip. And still waiting for those two top teeth to come in. Not anything worth blogging about really. I did win some stuff on e-bay. OOooooo.

A Good God Damned Day!

I love my kids.
I love my husband.
I love my parents.
I love my friends.
I love my pets. (all flippin' 8 of 'em!)
I love lots of things!

And today, I love the fact I have had the ENTIRE day without kids (thanks mom & dad), and my husband (sorry you're working) to get my house cleaned. And when I say clean, I mean hardcore clean.

And soon, there will be a dining room in my house (thanks honey), and a new couch (thanks dad for the delivery), and things will be settled.

So, today I send great love and appreciation for all the good in my life.
And never-ending gratitude for all the help I have in my world.

Must. Be. Fried.

a little stressed
things are unorganized
can't find the freakin' felt pads for the table legs
have more crap than carter's got pills
still hangin' in limbo
with no place to eat

need many personal assistants
and a team of carpenters/painters
a nanny
a cook
a housekeeper

damn!!!
forgot to play lotto

must have a plan
must commit it to paper
must make it happen

need to feel settled
need to feel comfort
need the list to be complete
need organization for the sake of sanity

need to go buy some more flippin' felt pads

and a lotto ticket

give me lucky numbers

She's Safe!!

They found the baby safe and sound!
Just a few miles from her home.
The abductor was a woman who recently miscarried.
She tried using make-up to hide the birthmark on the baby's forehead.
Her sister-in-law was driving her to the pediatricians office and noticed the make-up.
She called police.

I don't know what it is with these women. Why are they so empty they resort to such unbelievable things?

The ONLY redeeming aspect to a crime like this, is you know the crazy person is loving that baby. You know they were so desperate in the first place that they are cherishing the baby. I know that's a twisted perspective, but it's the only thing I can think of to keep from crying.

Anyway, happy ending on this one folks! Breathing easier for now. Night!

Amber Alert!!!

"Sometimes when I'm feeling sad or lonely, I'll have a snack, like a brownie or a cupcake, and it makes me feel better. I don't think that's such a big deal, because I know a lot of women who, when they're feeling sad or lonely, will have a baby." - Jessica Delfino, songstress

When I read this, I thought it was the funniest thing. Sad & true, but funny.

HOWEVER, there is something really sick happening in this area of the states in which I live. Lonely women aren't having babies, they're STEALING them! It has happenend again. A couple of days ago, a woman broke into a house, held the mother at gunpoint, slashed her throat, and stole her 9 day old baby girl! A one year old boy was untouched, and the mother survived, but her baby is gone! Imagine that for a moment. Complete helplessness. Your innocent, helpless, newborn out there in the world with someone you don't know. Can you wrap your mind around the pain? It's unbelievable.

Nearly two years ago, a woman murdered a woman eight months pregnant and cut her baby from her womb. She then drove to a Burger King, called her husband, and told him she had given birth in the bathroom there.

A year before that, another woman drove to a small town, walked into a house and walked out with a 2 month old baby boy. She lived here in town and was too stupid to know the physical differences between a newborn and a 2 month old. Her co-workers called the police.

So the profile for this abductor is the same. An overweight, unattractive woman, who has been telling others she is pregnant. She, in fact, is not pregnant, either because she is unable to be, or because she has been pretending to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't exist.

Regardless, she's sick. Sick, sick, sick.

Keep your eyes open for this baby. Let's try and get her with her family.

We Have Established Contact!

I found Creston.

And as with all things good, time hadn't spoiled a thing.

I didn't tell him about the previous post; didn't need to.

But I found him again, and that makes me happy.

He's good people.

He's one of my people.

Good ju-ju!

20 Minutes To Salvation

We sat in the back, up against the wall at one of those tall tables on stools. I sucked down a Marlboro Light and drank something non-alcoholic. My friend sat to my left. He was 50-something, I think.

In the far corner to my left was a woman in her mid-30's. Her boobs had been naturally deflated by nursing someone. Her hips were wide and her back side was losing it's battle with gravity. She looked tired, and worn.

On the platform to my right was a twenty-something with fully inflated and paid-for boobs. She was in white, with a long white chiffon cape that clasped around her neck in a band of what appeared to be velvet. At her feet were roughly 15 men gawking at her. She absorbed every predatory look. Somehow, it appeared to give her power.

"Have you seen enough?", my friend asked.
"Yea, I think so.", I replied.

Earlier that day, I had been on the phone with my friend.
"I have to get a job. And I was looking in the paper and I think I'm gonna dance at a strip club."
"Have you ever been in one of those places?"
"No."
"What are you doing tonight?"
"Nothin', why?"
"I'm going to take you to one."
"Okay!"

So, sometime that evening I climbed into my friends car and headed to the club. I walked in the door with the full intent of asking for a job when I left. We paid our admission, had our obligatory drink, and left. And when I walked out I didn't say anything to the man behind the counter.

"So, what did ya think?"
"I don't think I wanna do that."

I was 21 years old. I was a starving college student and dancing with a regional ballet company. My friend stopped me from doing something I would have regretted. Chances are, had I asked for a job there, I never would have gone back after the first time. But he spared me the grief, and I will be forever in debt to him for that.

So why did I think I wanted to be a stripper?
I had a fabulous body and I was a trained ballet dancer. What more could you want?

Uh huh, so why did I think I wanted to be a stripper?
I was comfortable with my body and I knew I would make a butt-load of money.

Okay, one more time Cameo, why did I think I wanted to be a stripper?
I didn't think. That's the truth. I wasn't thinking.

I wasn't thinking about myself. I wasn't thinking I deserved more. I wasn't thinking people found me interesting for substantial reasons, not just a great set of tits.

I wasn't thinking how I would screw things up for all women in the name of shameless easy money -money earned from the all mighty penis; Money stuck in my g-string instead of a kids bank account; Money handed me by men who had women waiting at home for them.

I wasn't thinking.

But Creston got me to think. Actually, he got me to see.

Creston's his name. Creston Funk.

I haven't spoken to him in over 7 years.

I hope he's doing okay.

I am.

Tales From The Sale

Well, the garage sale was a success, barring the fact I had five big items - none of which sold. Oh well.
And while I'm not a very social person, I love having garage sales. Something about the people who come to sales, I find interesting.
First, there is this man named Robert. He's in his late forties (I'm guessing) and has had what appears to be a massive stroke. He uses a brace to walk, his speech is slurred and everything he does takes a long time. He has come to every garage sale I have had and I love seeing him pull up. This time was no different.
Robert pulled up in his big SUV, and took a considerable amount of time getting himself out of the car and situated with his brace. My mom was helping me and shot me a puzzled look when nobody appeared from behind the car after a few minutes. "Just wait," I said. Out walks Robert. "I was wondering when you were going to show up!," I said. "Well, hey baby!," he replied.
We then spent the next 15 minutes just talking about anything and everything, including what I do for a living. He said when he got his feet back he was going to learn swing dancing with his "bride." My heart melted - his "bride." How sweet!
Robert is a good looking man. And he has the most beautiful spirit. Whatever hardship came his way hasn't stopped this man from being who he is. My guess is he has a charmed life (in part from things he told me), was quite dashing and hadn't a care in the world. Then fate stepped in and shifted his course. But he just kept going, being the quick witted, charming, good natured person he is. He's good people, and I look forward to seeing him at my sales.
Second, is this woman who had me cracking up the entire time she was here. She was in her late 60's and was so sweet and innocent. Innocent at 60 something? Yup! She told me of her kids who voted for Bush and how she just didn't get it. She told me how she loved to bake, and then asked me the last time I had seen flour on sale in the newspaper? Um, never, but I'm not looking for it, so I'm the wrong person to ask. And then she told me this story of how she was at her daughter's house one day and let her three ferrets out of their cage. As the story goes, the ferrets somehow turned the computer on, and the woman had no idea how to turn it off. So, she went to call her daughter, but the ferrets had turned the phone off and she couldn't figure out how to get that turned back on. So, she sat there for hours with a computer doing things she couldn't stop, and no way to get in touch with anybody! I'm cracking up as I type this! Too, too funny. Just imagine!
There was the woman who bought a pair of maternity jeans for her sister who was pregnant with her seventh child by a seventh man! "She needs to get fixed, that's just ridiculous!," she said. Amen sister! But nice sister for buying maternity pants!
There was the stingy woman who squabbled over a 50 cent item, and then put it back.
There was the crazy artist who bought tons of stuff.
The mother and daughter who bought the Hookah because they thought it was "fun!"
The woman with cancer - she was cool.
The little girl who was excited to see our pet rabbit.
The woman who brought her dog and we laughed while hers and mine frolicked in the front yard.
The young college age girl who bought her boyfriend the drafting table and a ton of other stuff and spent nearly 30 minutes with her mom trying to fit it all in their car - laughing the whole time!
The man who gave us a coupon for a free half gallon of ice cream.
The man I see walking when I take the kids to school every morning.
And the crazy woman who was like a bull in a china shop - abrasive as the day is long.

All these people, out doing their thing, shift the momentum for a quick peek at somebody else's stuff. And in the process, stories are told, annual friendships are strengthened, and I watch as things which tell, in part, the story of my life go marching off to become somebody else's story.
There were things I was a little sad to see go, but I know it was time. Some of the memories were good, and some I just didn't need anymore.

So, the sale was a success. The house is breathing a little easier now. I am too for that matter. I have made a promise to myself to stop buying things so I don't have to have a sale next year. It's a LOT of work. But between you and me, I think I might miss the dynamic my garage sales bring. I'm getting rid of my stuff, but in exchange, I'm getting some new memories. And I like having them - at least until I don't need them anymore either.

One A Penny, Two A Penny Buy My Crap

This weekend I'm tackling the horrific task of having a garage sale. As a matter of fact, if you're reading this on Friday or Saturday, that's where I am right now!

All I have to say is this:
I'm embarrassed at the amount of crap I have accumulated.
I'm disappointed I didn't have the time to finish all those fabulous "projects" I envisioned.
I'm hopeful that all the "someones" for all the "stuff" will come and take it all away.
I'm not allowing any of this stuff back into the house. IT MUST GO!!!

So anyway, it's getting late and I have to go clean out a refrigerator, take a shower, go fix a couple of signs, and go to bed.

Wish me luck. And send everyone one you know my way. I'm bound to have something they just can't live without!

Funky Town

The last couple of days I've been in a funk. A BIG funk! So, today I think I'm going to flip the script and try to think in a positive manner. So, here goes.....

I give thanks for the following (in no particular order):

my children, my husband, my parents, Marcie, friends, health, my mind, my dog, purring cats, home, food, good fortune, good sleep, cilantro, chocolate, rain storms, hummingbirds, flowers, oceans, the color orange, temper tantrums, cart-wheels, punk rock, clean houses, ballet, cameras, good style, cascarones, scrabble, grilling out, crafts, naps, ibuprofen, toads, good sex, free time, Hank Williams, baby feet, firsts, tigers, the smell of coffee, brownies, sunbathing, going to the salon, growling babies, sassy children, rebels, humble people, green lights all the way, compilation cd's, winning shit on the radio, compliments, snow storms, Leonard Cohen, sitting in front of the fire, road trips, shopping, little suits for little boys, straightening irons, earrings, massages, chiropractors, flamenco, recycling, hiking, goldfish, seeing your history in your child's face, dejavu, blog buddies, giving birth, painting a room, good work, jasmine, streams, Led Zeppelin, good arguments, puppies, gardens, concerts, getting drunk, laughing 'til you cry, decade old friendships, The Clash, nicknames, sharp tongues, literacy, 2008 is coming up, bold old women, Willie Nelson, costumes, misunderstood song lyrics, laughing infants, good men, breezes, tomorrow, reminiscing, laughing at yourself, when everything for dinner is ready at the same time, birthday parties, presents for no reason, Roxy in a tutu, the name Roxy, scalloped potatoes, gourmet dog bakeries, seeds germinating in the kitchen window, glitter, Christmas cookies, surprises, bathroom humor, rock gardens, stained glass, pottery, your name in lights, trampolines, pissed off cats, good grades, autumn, quiet, sonograms, potato soup, peacocks, dinner parties, impromptu gatherings, musical theatre, looking good in a picture, organization, love notes, long showers, inspiration, smart animals, cigars for a new baby, crying because you're happy, organics, bad words on a calculator, Jimmy Hendrix muzak in an elevator, the 80's being 'retro', right place at the right time, being in love, dive bars, marathon kissing, baby books for your kids, henna tattoos, birth marks, freckles, free babysitting, kisses from behind, good lighting, wild flowers, cloudy days, bamboo, apples in salad, making soap, John Prine & Iris Demet's "In Spite of Ourselves", porches, courtyards, common sense, "Go Away" door mats, John Lennon, erasers, cookie dough, dictionaries, travel, electric cars, chapstick, almond oil, cat teeth, baby's breath.

So there.
What are you thankful for?

Have A Look-See

1) Go to G**gle

2) Type in the word "failure"

3) E-mail everyone you know!

Judgment Day

I went to a blog once where listed on the "100 Things About Me" it said, "I love going to Wal-Mart, because it is there I feel skinny." I thought that was the funniest thing I had ever read.

I totally understand. But I'd like to go once step further and add something if I might.

I love going to Wal-Mart because it is there I feel skinnny and smart!
Let me fill you in as to why.

Chris and I went there yesterday- the Sunday afternoon prior to the first day of school. It was a mad-house. Exhausting, to say the least. And the place was filled with every type of person imaginable. Now, I try not to be a judgmental person. HA! I'm the most judgmental person I know! But I think you'll understand why!

I saw SEVERAL obese women riding around in those little scooter carts with the front baskets LOADED with baked goods, chips and soda! Make the connection, honey. Make the connection.

I saw a meek woman, with an imposing man, and a BIG black bruise on her left cheek. Hoping it was a door in the middle of the night.

I saw a heroin thin woman with stringy hair in the shortest shorts ever dragging her kids through the store - with two BIG hickeys on her neck. Lovely.

I saw a pregnant sixteen year old child, with her little thug boyfriend. She had no eyebrows, lots of black eyeliner, and her belly hanging out severely. He had his pants down to his knees, and was 'pimp walking' in front of her. Promising.

I saw countless plastic mothers and the next generation of plastic daughters. Over-processed hair, leather thick over-processed skin, and frosty pale pink lipstick. It's 2006 ladies - Farrah's like 60 now!

I saw young women in 'break-neck' heels, strutting their stuff through the school supplies. Education can't buy self-respect.

I saw people with no teeth buying frivolous electronics. Priorities, folks.

I saw kids tearing things off the shelves, while their parents just ignored it. Ah! The next generation of thoughtless assholes.

I saw 'Jello pudding' parents who tried softly reasoning with their irrational two-year old in the midst of a horrific temper tantrum. Hey folks - news flash - YOU'RE the one in charge!

I heard a yearly dose of things like, "I ain't got no...," "I seen...," (which Chris says - but it bothers me less with him for some reason - cuz I love him, maybe?) "Yo, that's tight!," "get your butt...," "I'll whip your butt...," etc.

The experience, however, was peppered with glimpses of 'normal' people. People who seemed more our speed. Women who weren't dolled up. Families who spoke kindly to each other. People who actually had fruits and vegetables in their carts. Parents who actively parented their children. Couples who showed their affection for each other by holding hands. Fathers who carried their babies.

I call Wal-Mart, "Wally World." And the trip yesterday was a shining example of why. Trips to Wally World just seem to throw the true reality of things at you. The world is a discouraging place.

I have great moral reserve shopping there - really I do. That, coupled with placing myself in the company of SO many people for whom I have little to no respect, is making me re-think my shopping habits. Maybe I should go to the grocery store for groceries! And head to the corner drug store for toiletries! Ya think?

There is a part of me, a BIG part of me, who wants to live in a bubble. I don't want to have to share my world with ignorant, uneducated, priority-screwed, self-centered people. I don't. People like that make me really pissed off - judgmental.

I wish I could be one of those people who was either oblivious, understanding, or tolerant. But I'm not.

Go ahead, judge me.

Anything Goes!

This past weekend marked the end of the craziest summer of my life! The season ended with me choreographing "Anything Goes" for Gladstone Theatre In The Park. It was a wonderful conclusion. And this is the reason why............. Evan stealin' the show!
trenches anyone? (that's the tap step he's doing)












So, watching my son perform was a fantastic treat! I love that he loves the theatre! I hope he loves it for the rest of his life!

And if he's famous one day - just remember you saw him here first!
Edit: Evan has just posted to his blog. I have no idea what it means, but it's there none-the-less.

Feast Your Eyes

Mama's got a brown eyed baby, a blue eyed baby, and a green eyed baby - remember the New Order song? "oh you got green eyes, oh you got blue eyes, oh you got got [brown] eyes."










One dog, one cat, three kids, early morning, beating the sick summer heat.










Evan's tenth Fourth of July at 4:58 kiss!

Back In The Olden Days

I woke up this morning and tried to write something original. Three takes later, I had nothing. So, luckily for me, my cousin Shannen e-mailed this to me today! Yup, that's right! It's another "somebody sent me this e-mail" post! Sorry, I've been such a bore lately. I'm fried.

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways ... through year 'round blizzards. Carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse, where they maintained a Straight-A average, despite their full- time, after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death!
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!! There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter ... with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!
And talk of about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had to steal it from your brother or bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! Those were your options!
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Play Station video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600, with games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids." And the graphics sucked! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! JUST LIKE LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on and you had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!
There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little brats!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire. Imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid JiffyPop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled.You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

The "I HATE BUSH!" Post

Because my life has been so busy lately - I've taken a liking to posting things my friends have sent me. I got this one today from my dearest Berni. It is a collection of things seen on bumper stickers. And I know I've seen one of these on someone's blog banner! Anyway, enjoy!


BLIND FAITH IN BAD LEADERSHIP IS NOT PATRIOTISM
IF YOU'RE NOT OUTRAGED, YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION
IF YOU SUPPORTED BUSH, A YELLOW RIBBON WON'T MAKE UP FOR IT
POVERTY, HEALTH CARE, & HOMELESSNESS ARE MORAL ISSUES
OF COURSE IT HURTS. YOU'RE GETTING SCREWED BY AN ELEPHANT
BUSH LIED, AND YOU KNOW IT!
RELIGIOUS FUNDAMENTALISM: A THREAT ABROAD, A THREAT AT HOME
GOD BLESS EVERYONE - No exceptions (if that's your thing!)
BUSH SPENT YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY ON HIS WAR
PRO - AMERICA, ANTI - BUSH
WHO WOULD JESUS BOMB?
IF YOU SUPPORT BUSH'S WAR, WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? SHUT UP AND SHIP OUT
FEEL SAFER NOW?
I'D RATHER HAVE A PRESIDENT WHO SCREWED HIS INTERN THAN ONE WHO SCREWED HIS COUNTRY
JESUS WAS A SOCIAL ACTIVIST -- THAT IS A LIBERAL
MY VALUES? FREE SPEECH. EQUALITY.LIBERTY. EDUCATION. TOLERANCE
IS IT 2008 YET?
DISSENT IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF PATRIOTISM -- Thomas Jefferson
DON'T BLAME ME. I VOTED AGAINST BUSH -- TWICE!
ANNOY A CONSERVATIVE: THINK FOR YOURSELF
VISUALIZE IMPEACHMENT
HEY BUSH! WHERE'S BIN LADEN?
CORPORATE MEDIA = MASS MIND CONTROL
STOP MAD COWBOY DISEASE
GEORGE W. BUSH: MAKING TERRORISTS FASTER THAN HE CAN KILL THEM
KEEP YOUR THEOCRACY OFF MY DEMOCRACY
DEMOCRATS ARE SEXY. WHOEVER HEARD OF A GOOD PIECE OF ELEPHANT?
ASPIRING CANADIAN
CORPORATE MEDIA: WEAPONS OF MASS DECEPTION
DON'T CONFUSE DYING FOR OIL WITH FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM
STEM CELL RESEARCH IS PRO LIFE
HATE, GREED, IGNORANCE: WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION
HONOR OUR TROOPS: DEMAND THE TRUTH
REBUILD IRAQ? WHY NOT SPEND 87 BILLION ON AMERICA?
FACT: BUSH OIL 1999 - $19 BARREL 2006 - $70 BARREL
THE LAST TIME RELIGION CONTROLLED POLITICS, PEOPLE GOT BURNED AT THE STAKE
I'LL GIVE UP MY CHOICE WHEN JOHN ROBERTS GETS PREGNANT
HOW ON EARTH CAN 59,411,287 PEOPLE BE SO DUMB?

Edit: Add These To The List!

Will someone please give Bush a blowjob so we can impeach him? (thanks Bombadee!)

When Clinton Lied Nobody Died!!! (merci marcie!)

Attractive Features

My friend Natalie just sent me this one. It's a doozey!

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed the features a woman finds attractive in a man's face can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: While ovulating, women tend to be attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, during menstruation, or menopause, women tend toward preferencing a man with scissors lodged in his temple, a bat jammed up his ass, all while he is on fire.

Further studies in this area have been canceled.




I have to admit this pretty much sums up my last cycle. However, I must clarify, my desire to see the scissor lodge, the bat butt jam, and the blaze of glory wasn't reserved for men, or any man in particular. I was equal opportunity pissy - pretty much anybody who crossed my path was secretly bestowed this fantasy. Come on, admit it! You've felt that way to!

The Clouds Have Parted, The Heavens Have Opened Up, And The Angels Are Singing

I see the light at the end of the tunnel! One job ended today. Next week another one ends, and the week after that the last one ends. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Mama is a new person already!

P.M.Pissy

Yeah, okay. So, as of late, the world has been an incredibly irritating place. I have inadvertently spread myself too thin. I'm going - and I mean quite literally - from 7am until 10pm EVERY FREAKIN' DAY! Teaching 5,6,& 7 year olds from 8:30-12:30, then taking care of my own three kids from 1:00-5:00, then teaching ballet from 5:30-7:00, then rehearsal from 7:00-10:00, then doing dishes/picking up/getting ready for the next day at least until midnight (usually 2am!) I'm losing my mind, and I have no body to blame for any of it other than myself. I know this! BUT!!! I'm PMSing right now. So, even though I pride myself on being a rather level person, rationale is a rare commodity with me right now!

And you know what makes it worse? It takes me a pretty substantial amount of time to figure it the flip out! "Hi! I'm Cameo, and I'm a highly irritated snot right now, and it's because I have to share the world!" You know, like the old joke goes - "I have a problem with everyone I meet! There's something wrong with all of them." Uh-huh. When everyone and everything is wrong with the world, it's everyone else who has a problem! Whatever.

So, I realized the other day that I might be PMSing. I sent my willing husband to the store to buy some medicine. I took it, and passed out. Guess it's hard to be a bitch when you're unconscious.

But something really interesting happened while I was sleeping. I woke myself up crying. Crying! Not dreaming about crying, but really crying! I'm so stressed, and tired, and worn out, I'm crying in my sleep! Aren't you glad you're not me right now?

This is one of those cruel ironies life throws at you every once in awhile just to get it's jollies. Let's make sure that when this girl is working really, really long, hard days, we time it just right so she gets her period in the middle of it all! I'm glad some one is having a good time.

Things will get easier after this coming week is over. But I will still be teaching class and holding rehearsal in the evening thru the end of the month. Then we gotta get school supplies, and school clothes, and try and squeeze in a bit of relaxing fun before the boys head back to the classroom.

I guess the lining around all this is, when I do finally get to spend some good quality time with my kids, I should be a nicer person. Let's hope. I know they are!

You Are What You Don't Eat!

Once upon a time
In a land far away
A beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said, "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince I am. And then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle - with my mother; where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself, "I don't freakin' think so!"


Silly me! I thought frog legs sounded gross!

Bert, Did You Think I Forgot?

Here are the pics from the get together last weekend. It would have been a blast with you there. Everyone asked how you were. I told them, um, well, I better not say!


Anyway -

In attendance: Mara, Heather G., Nick, Martha, Della & Steve, Alex (Wendy), Usha, Morgan, Me & Chris

No shows - Amber, Cara (stuck in Vegas), Victor P.

Incidentally, Morgan asked where Ira was.

Love ya Bert! Enjoy!

A Real Live Yankee Doodle Dandy

The 4th of July.

A day we celebrate the "birth" of our nation! We take time out of our lives to throw down some hotdogs, shoot some fireworks (oops! no I didn't reveal illegal practices - nope I didn't), and get goosebumps hearing a band play "The Star Spangled Banner". But the Fourth of July marks another, and I believe, far more important event in our house. Celebrating the birth of my own little firecracker - who will be TEN! What? Huh? When?




Evan was born Thursday July 4, 1996, in San Antonio, TX. He was born in room #4, at 4:58pm and weighed in at 8lbs. 8oz. He was actually due on the 9th, but because my doctor was going on vacation, I chose to have him induced on the 4th. I just didn't want to be with a doctor I didn't know, seeing as this was my first baby. Anyway, he was born on the 4th, room #4, at 4:58pm, and he was a boy! Which is absolutely wonderful. Really! It's just that we were expecting a girl! And her name was going to be Sasha, Isabella, Paloma? The truth is we hadn't decided on a name. And when the doctor told us he was a boy, we all laughed - myself, Bubba (my ex - yup, that's what we called him), and my mom. And when mom picked up the phone and called my dad - who had spent the day cleaning out the refrigerator - to let him know the news, he laughed too.

My dad didn't make the trip with my mom because he was in the middle of a show and couldn't leave town. The show, you wonder? "George M." Which, if you don't know anything about the theatre means nothing to you, but George M. Cohen was a pioneer of theatre in this grand ol' USA, and wrote the song we all know and love - "Yankee Doodle Dandy". So, the irony just oozes, doesn't it?

Anyway, back to San Antonio.

I will never forget holding Evan for the first time. He had such substance. I guess I thought he was going to be light, and airy. But he was solid, and warm. His little red face looked worried (oh, if I knew then what I know now...), and his pointed little head was covered in light red hair. He looked like my grandma. My first words to him were, "Hey there Sneakerdoodle." He was my first baby. I was so happy.

So, began the search for boy names. We hadn't considered any. Although I do remember, the whole time I was pregnant, a little voice saying, "What if it's a boy? We need to have a name picked out." I think I knew he was going to be boy all along.

Anyway, after much searching, we settled on a name - Evan.
I love that name. I will always love that name. To me, it's a name that exudes gentle strength. It's a smart name. Refined, but not arrogant. Evan. My Evan. My baby boy, Evan.

Now it's ten years later, and my baby is heading into double digits. DOUBLE DIGITS! He's going to be TEN! And where did all the time go? When I turn around in ten more years, he'll be 20! Whatever.

I know how cliche it is to say the time goes fast. But damn! There's no other way to say it! And the cliche is true! It goes fast!

So, the first real love of my life turns ten this coming Tuesday. And if you happen to remember us while you're eating, shooting fireworks, or getting chills from the spirit of it all, know that I'll be giving him his tenth Fourth of July kiss at exactly 4:58pm.













And just in case you're wondering, Evan has made another post to his blog - letting everyone know what he wants for his birthday. Go check it out! The toys just get more expensive the older he gets. Rest assured, he's not getting item #1.

Hi-Ho! Hi-Ho! Off To See My Kids (and the hubby) I Go!

Okay, I have something to tell you.

It's summer. The kids are out of school. And my work schedule is more intense than it is September - May. What that does is make for a shift in priorities.
Unlike winter, when we're trapped inside - summer offers many fun things to do outside! And because time spent with my kids is limited, I'm going to pause this blogging thing for awhile.
I'll post things here and there - and I'll still check out what's going on in your worlds. But, I'm going to get my ass out of this chair for the coming months and be with my growing babies - hell, my growing husband for that matter! (just kidding, honey!)
Cameo is getting out of her 'blog fog', as Chris so affectionately calls it.

So, here's hoping you all have a great summer. And don't think I'm bailing out all together. Just shifting for a bit.

Good Ju-ju to you!

Cameo

Oh yeah! I'll be letting you know if/when Evan makes any new posts. Thanks to all of you who left him comments. 'It takes a village' - thanks for helping me!!!

I Don't Mean To Brag, But...

Sunday May 28th was our first anniversary! In true Chris and Cameo form we didn't do anything big. Hell, when we got married, we packed the kids in the car, told them we were going to see Judge Judy, and headed to the courthouse!

So, we didn't do anything 'special' for our anniversary - No fancy dinner. No stay at a suave hotel. No pageantry.

But I did get these.




No I didn't.





But I did get this.






Nope, lied again.





Wanna see what I did get? (this time it's for real - promise)



Drumroll................................................




















Pretty cool, huh?


So, what you don't know is I've been washing bottles in the bathroom sink. And we've been eating out every meal. And we've been living with a refrigerator in our living room. FOR TWO WEEKS!

But we have been dealing with this tiny, ill-planned, cramped, worn-out, and dated kitchen for 5 years! Doing dishes in a compact sized dishwasher that never got anything clean. Cooking on a stove-top that was wobbly and crusted and rusted. Walking on floors that were CONSTANTLY disgusting. And trying to prepare meals on 2 feet of counter space! That's not an over-exaggeration! Two feet!


So, here's a little journey into the transformation my amazing husband created for us. It's not totally finished yet, but you get the idea.










these pictures taken from the same spot























during the remodel






















I don't know about you, but in my book this sure beats dinner, flowers, or jewelry any day!


Incidentally, behind the new cabinets reads: 'Chris remodeled this kitchen May 2006. And his wife loves him for it!'


And I do!
And I'm proud of him too!

6/6/6 It's A Good Day!!!

In honor of Marcies last post - I got one for you for today!



"It was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June
In a Kenworth pullin logs
Cab over Pete with a reefer on
And a Jimmy haulin hogs...


Coz we got a little old convoy rockin' thru the night
Yeah we got a little old convoy aint she a beautiful sight
Come on and join our convoy aint nothin' gonna get in our way
We gonna roll this truckin' convoy 'cross the USA

Convoy"




Happy 6/6/6 y'all!





Okay, now to totally switch gears....... wanna see something really cool?
















Wanna see something else really cool?












Life is good! Have a great day!

Help A Sister Out

The other day I told you how Evan now has his own blog. He got a couple of comments and it made his whole week!
I'm actually glad he's doing this because it gives me a chance to help him with his writing skills and he doesn't even know it!
So, my brilliant son has made another post. And if you could drop by and leave him a comment that would be great!
My hope is the interaction will boost his desire to write more, and well..... that can only be a good thing!

Thanks! And when he posts anything new I will link it at the bottom of mine! Thanks again!

www.evanwashere.blogspot.com

First Day At The Pool! Yeah!

Today was Roxy's first day at the pool! EVER! And she had a blast! Here are pictures of the magic moment!